"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough." Brené Brown
In a world where fitting in often feels safer than standing out, many of us have become experts at performing roles. We adapt our behaviors, thoughts, and actions to meet the expectations of others, often at the expense of our true selves. But what if the path to real fulfillment lies not in who others want us to be, but in embracing who we truly are? Research shows that authenticity isn’t just a buzzword—it’s a powerful force that can transform our lives. Let’s explore the journey from performing roles to living our purpose, and why authenticity is the highest frequency we can resonate at.
The Pressure to Perform
From a young age, we learn that certain behaviors and attitudes are rewarded. We’re praised for being compliant, for fitting in, and for meeting societal standards. This conditioning teaches us to wear masks, to perform roles that earn us approval and acceptance. Over time, these roles can feel like a straitjacket, constraining our true selves. Or, we may lose ourselves so completely that we don't even recognize we are playing a role rather than living our purpose.
Living Your Purpose
Living your purpose means aligning your actions with your core values and passions. It’s about being true to yourself, even when it’s uncomfortable. As I primarily work with women, I can speak to their experiences. It is often when pain arrives that we are confronted with the choice to continue to live in the role or to discover who we are and why we are that way. Choosing the latter allows for a transformation of identity. It is not about who THEY want you to be; it is about who you are and who you are choosing to become. This is the difference between trying another diet and failing and becoming an extraordinarily healthy person effortlessly.
Research supports the benefits of living authentically. According to Kernis and Goldman (2006), authenticity is linked to greater well-being and mental health. When we live in alignment with our true selves, we experience higher levels of life satisfaction and emotional stability (Wood et al., 2008). Again, it is hitting the easy button (or at least the easier button) toward healing.
The Science of Authenticity
The science behind authenticity reveals why it’s so transformative. Authenticity involves being aware of your true self, accepting it, and expressing it honestly. This process creates a sense of coherence and congruence, which enhances our psychological health. And psychological health directly impacts physiological functions.
A pivotal study by Kernis and Goldman (2006) found that authenticity comprises four components: self-awareness, unbiased processing, behavior, and relational orientation. Self-awareness involves understanding your strengths, weaknesses, and motivations. Unbiased processing means accepting your thoughts and feelings without distortion. Authentic behavior is acting in ways that reflect your true self, and relational orientation is being genuine in relationships.
Living authentically also means resonating at a higher frequency. In "Power vs. Force," David R. Hawkins (1995) describes how higher-frequency emotions and states of being, such as love and authenticity, create positive energy that attracts like-minded individuals and opportunities.
Practical Steps to Embrace Authenticity and Pursue Purpose
Self-Reflection: Regularly take time to reflect on your values and passions. Journaling, meditation, and self-assessment tools can help you gain clarity on what truly matters to you.
Setting Boundaries: Learn to set boundaries that protect your integrity. This might mean saying no to commitments that don’t align with your values or distancing yourself from relationships that require you to wear a mask.
Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness and meditation practices to stay connected to your inner self. Mindfulness helps you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, enabling you to act in ways that are true to yourself.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who support your journey toward authenticity. Seek out communities or groups that share your values and passions.
Conclusion
The journey from performing roles to living your purpose is not without its challenges, but the rewards are profound. Authenticity isn’t just about being true to yourself—it’s about resonating at the highest frequency, attracting positive energy, and creating a life of fulfillment and joy. As research shows, living authentically leads to greater well-being and satisfaction.
So, take a step back from the roles you’ve been performing. Reflect on your values, passions, and the life you truly want to lead. Set boundaries, practice mindfulness, and seek out supportive communities. Embrace the power of authenticity and discover the profound transformation that comes with living your purpose.
References
Kernis, M. H., & Goldman, B. M. (2006). A multicomponent conceptualization of authenticity: Theory and research. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 283-357.
Wood, A. M., Linley, P. A., Maltby, J., Baliousis, M., & Joseph, S. (2008). The authentic personality: A theoretical and empirical conceptualization and the development of the Authenticity Scale. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 55(3), 385-399.
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